denial

[I wrote this a long time ago, and never posted it, so here it is.. I'm now 2 weeks away from Thanksgiving break, and in just as much denial, if not more; however, I also haven't thought about this in a while because I've been so distracted by everything going on around me. This means 1) hopefully, I'm accomplishing my goal of sponge-itude and 2) I'm terrified the end of the year is going to sneak up on me whilst distracted and unaware.]

Well, here I am, right smack in the middle of my second week of my senior year of college. HOW, WHEN, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? I can remember with notable amounts of detail my very first day of NSO--being overwhelmed by all those orientation leaders and their love for Pepperdine, meeting my first roommate (while the NSO leaders chanted something along the lines of "two souls, meeting for the first time, to be forever tied by the bonds of roommate-hood"), setting up our sherbet-colored room, naming our plants, thinking 'I can't believe I'm lucky enough to spend the next 4 years living my life like this.'

And now those 4 years are coming to a close. I'm in denial. I don't want to believe I might one day have to leave this place where I've learned, laughed, cried, stressed; where I've grown; where I've gained friends and influences I can only consider huge blessings. Pepperdine is home and the thought of leaving it makes me homesick already.

Now I have graduated friends in China and sophomore friends studying overseas and freshmen friends who are just beginning their college journey; and I can't help but be jealous of them all for completely different reasons. But I realize I need to focus on where I am, revel, absorb everything. I will be a sponge.